Secular Recovery

How the 12 Steps Work (But Sometimes Don’t)

AA and NA work. They’ve got numbers that support it, and they’ve been around for years.

By providing a framework with built-in replacement for substance use, accountability to a community, opportunities to reinforce new behaviors and a sense of purpose – 12-step programs are a recipe for success.

But it’s not for everyone.

Sometimes it’s the (not so) faint echoes of sin and redemption. Maybe people aren’t into the “social thing.” Perhaps it’s a logical disagreement with a rigid idea.

More than likely, it’s that addiction is a highly personal experience, and a 12-step approach simply isn’t right for everyone.

Consider that AA is a closed feedback loop.

Definitions of successes are narrowly defined.

Discussing personal experiences in public is a requirement and can easily re-traumatize people. People in AA are generally well meaning, but they are not professionals.

There are pros and cons, so it’s not a reason to discount it completely. But it needs to be said that it is not what anyone would call an “individualized” approach.

Mike knew he had a drinking problem.

That was obvious. He’d been going to AA on and off for years; sometimes it helped, but mostly it didn’t.

He knew he was splitting hairs over minor points about the God thing, but shouldn’t there be some give and take or at least agree to disagree?

Mike was a smart guy with a tendency to overanalyze things. This was a good trait to have at his job where problem-solving and deductive reasoning were thought well of.

However, it made him think of AA as overly dogmatic and unappealing to his sense of how things worked. He continued begrudgingly, but never felt that he was “all in.”

Bridging the gap: Leaving God out of it

Is it possible to bring the personalized self-reflection of 12-step together with a sound science-based practice, minus all the talk about a higher Power?

Yes. It’s completely up to you.

Spirituality is a deeply personal subject, and you can incorporate it into your life as you see fit. I was actively involved with AA for many years, but ultimately felt constrained by some of its concepts.

Mike ultimately sought out private counseling

He was grateful to feel heard about his take on 12-step principles.

He has been sober for a number of years now and feels this is a result of what he learned in AA, plus applying cognitive behavioral techniques with his counselor.

He has his own beliefs about God but holds them as deeply personal.

Mike benefitted from working with someone who had a working knowledge of both programs and, more importantly, the ability to help Mike create a truly personalized experience.

His counselor knew enough about AA to validate Mike’s experience without trying to “convert” him and the clinical skill to help Mike change some behavior patterns that were frustrating his recovery efforts.

Make sure that whoever you work with has the ability to be flexible to work toward the goal you want.

Take only what’s useful and leave the rest

At Your Success, we’ll work closely to integrate the most effective parts of every method available. Some may be 12-step based, or maybe not.

You’ll have the freedom to process what works best in a safe and confidential setting. I believe everyone needs to make their own choices about spirituality in recovery and in whatever dose is right for them.

I have enough insight into the 12-step process to help you successfully navigate it, create a hybrid approach, or support your decision to go in a completely different direction.

Sobriety on your own terms

You’ll have the peace of mind you deserve and the added confidence of knowing you use your own resources to stay clean and sober.

The skills you’ll have will transfer to all areas of your life. Coming to terms with your past and having a clear direction for the future await you.

Call me ASAP, so we can get started!

Call (916) 382-2412 ASAP for additional information to help recovery – keep you recovered.