Practical Relapse Prevention
The Thinking Person’s Recovery Plan
“Target Fixation”
Term originally used in World War II to describe the phenomena of fighter pilots focusing so intently on their targets during bombing runs, they flew right into them.
I use it to describe alcohol and drug treatment that addresses stressful relationships and high-risk situations so intently that people end up, well, flying right into them.
This just gets made worse by defining themselves as “addicts,” “chronic relapsers,” and “black sheep of the family.”
Identifying with the problem
Reliving the “war stories” is a good enough way to relate to one another (and it’s entertaining), but it reinforces the idea that drinking and using are fun and sobriety isn’t.
Being overly focused on problems creates a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy.
Jesse’s life was unmanageable
Jesse spent 30 days in rehab. He knew what his problem was. Not alcohol and drugs, but women.
He worked intensely with his counselor and his peers in the groups.
Yes, he was powerless. Resistance was futile.
Jesse discussed it at length, did at least 10 packets describing the messes he’d gotten into over these relationships, and wept tears of joy at his graduation.
He held out for a while after he left the program, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Soon after, he found himself in another relationship. Returning to alcohol and drugs seemed inevitable.
I wish I could say I haven’t seen at least a 100 versions of this. Jesse basically spent a month focusing on what he was trying to avoid.
Avoidance…
…is a necessary short-term coping skill to deal with high stress/high risk situations.
Just “not using” or the “staying busy method” work for a while, but these are miserable and will not work indefinitely (about two years max).
The successfully recovered person doesn’t need to avoid things because either the situations are no longer risky, or the scenarios just don’t exist anymore.
Changes that last
They have completely changed their relationship with things they once found intolerable.
If Jesse had identified what he got out of being in an intimate relationship with a partner (security, safety, comfort…) and learned to face the challenges of loneliness and boredom, this would have had a different ending.
His self-confidence from creating a secure and successful life would cancel out the need to seek comfort in superficial relationships.
Learning to manage discomfort
Learning skills to teach your brain that it doesn’t have to respond to its impulses takes practice. Once learned the skills not only provide an additional layer of protection against relapse, they can help us analyze and overcome other things that make us uncomfortable.
A teacher of mine once referred to the idea of “embracing the suck.” I might have said it differently, but she was talking about adversity being the gateway to success.
Let me assist you in learning to welcome challenges and become good at succeeding! You deserve better than just avoiding.
Black and White Thinking
Recovery as an “all or nothing” activity is another losing proposition.
By learning to think in shades of gray, we expand our choices and create opportunities we never knew existed. This is one of many cognitive behavioral techniques that expands options to grow and succeed in recovery.
Learning to think of things as partial successes instead of abject failures is another practiced skill, but one of the keys to success.
Most importantly, we learn to focus on the positive accomplishments and meaningful changes instead of the mistakes. Simply doing this can prevent a slip from becoming a full-blown relapse.
Amount of Days in Recovery or Amount of Recovery in the Days?
If the focus is creating a life you want, things you don’t want are automatically excluded.
This is a simplified concept of how I work with clients by using a creative process to recover from addictive substance use.
Quick neuroscientific fact: The kind of language we use creates our inner dialogue (self-talk) that creates the thoughts, that creates our feelings, that creates the action. Look it up.
Success is your right
Redefine what your idea of what recovery means to you and what your life looks like when you achieve it. You could even call it Dis-covery. Confront mistaken beliefs and decide what works for you.
Reinvent your plan, continually. The best defense is a good offense. Create something new, be responsive not reactive. Learn new skills, test, evaluate. Repeat.
Rediscover (or discover) your purpose. This is the outcome. We are treating to heal, not just treatment for the sake of doing it.
A clear path forward
I’ve worked extensively with the CENAPS Relapse Prevention Material, Thinking for a Change Curriculum, Matrix Model, Breaking Barriers, and Systemic Family Interventions.
I pull from these models as well as personal life experiences and deliver them in a direct, humorous, common-sense manner.
Call (916) 382-2412 today to schedule your initial consultation.