Family Interventions

Say “Family Intervention” and what images come up?

Family members in a circle sobbing while they read letters they’ve composed to their “addicted” family member.

The “addict,” in the hot seat, listening to the list of deficiencies with seething resentment, fear, or shame.

The tearful goodbyes as the counselor drives the addict to the airport, to begin his “recovery” journey with a month in an expensive rehab.

Would we do this if the person had cancer or diabetes?

Consider an intervention that harnesses the person’s strengths and creates a genuine motivation for change as opposed to an ultimatum.

Just like any other disease: If caught early on (or at least before a major loss occurs), the chances of successful recovery from addiction go up immensely.

Don’t wait for problems to become critical.

The problem with Hitting Bottom

The idea that a person’s life must fall completely apart and be met with consequences so dire that the person is finally ready to “quit for good” is unnecessary and dangerous.

Commonly heard at AA and NA meetings, treatment centers, and family get-togethers across the nation (probably the world): “He went out and used again; he just wasn’t ready to quit. I guess he hasn’t hit bottom yet.”

Tragically, this is common at funerals as well.

The idea that someone has to be ready (or made ready) to get help with an alcohol or drug problem is a dangerous proposition.

The first problem with “hitting bottom” is that they usually survive it.

Most people can rationalize this away as a one-off occurrence that will “never happen again.” Now there is a new bottom, which as long as it’s avoided permits the behavior to continue.

The second problem is that they may not survive it.

People that are waiting for themselves or a loved one to be “ready” is the same as driving a car with bad brakes or even Russian Roulette.

In hindsight, most drug- and alcohol-related deaths were preventable at some point.

Intervening early with the right approach is an investment in the entire family.

Based on “getting the addict into treatment,” the Johnson model or other tough-love approaches still echo with judgments and moral shortcomings.

Most have evolved from the kind of “in your face” aggression they once had, but even with compassion and all the stars aligned, the chances of long-term success are guarded at best.

Any accredited, or at least credible, interventionist is going to offer “family counseling,” which usually stops at education.

This is helpful to a degree, but mirrors what happens at the “family groups” at inpatient facilities.

The live-in treatment letdown

The Fords had taken out a second mortgage on their house to hire an interventionist and send their son Bill to a 30-day live-in program.

Bill’s mom was excited because there was a family program she thought they all could use. Bill’s dad was not excited, because Bill was the one with the problem – and it was his wife’s idea anyway.

Bill’s parents went to the “Sunday Family Group” for an hour a week right before visiting time. They saw some videos about how drugs affected the human body and learned that Bill had a disease and needed to go to meetings for the rest of his life.

Al-Anon for the Ford parents was heavily suggested.

Mrs. Ford was disappointed that her husband’s drinking and infidelity never got brought up. Mr. Ford was happy that the damn thing was over and that maybe Bill would finally get his shit together.

Bill was happy because he worked hard in treatment and had a good prognosis when he left. The staff at the program were happy, because Bill was going back to such a supportive home environment.

The ending was not happy. The Ford’s family dynamic was never addressed as an interactive system and continued to operate as it always had. Bill had a solid foundation in recovery but was still viewed as “the one with the problem” and ultimately lived up to it.

What happened?

The family received “education” and maybe even counseling, but the system was still dependent on Bill getting well. Without addressing the family system as a whole, the cycle continued.

The Ford family unit was not given the resources it needed to heal.

Doing your due diligence

Hiring a family interventionist is a major investment; educate yourself on what you’re paying for.

Good questions to ask are about their experiences and ability to address trauma, ability to make appropriate referrals to medical and mental health professionals, ability to case manage, and what their theoretical counseling approach is.

Also ask about the agencies they partner with. Many are aligned with specific residential programs where they will recommend placement, regardless of compatibility.

On track for a successful intervention

My approach is always compassionate and dignified, and always uniquely tailored to each situation. I have vetted several local programs and therapists with whom I partner – and do not receive any financial compensation from them.

Since this is not my primary source of income, I am not reliant on volume. I am fairly selective in who I work with in order to achieve the best possible results.

I received training in 2013 from Waine Raiter, MA, LCSW, LMFT, one of the original proponents of the Systemic Family Intervention Model and have applied its methodologies to family work ever since.

I also have a Family Systems Specialist endorsement from Gateway/Onsite Strategies(TM)

Don’t wait for rock bottom

Difficulty asking for assistance is common, especially when it comes to alcohol and other drug issues.

Most will wait until a critical event occurs. Problems with employment, trouble with the law, strained relationships, and health issues are natural consequences of substance use.

But you don’t have to wait for everything to fall apart before you start putting the pieces together.

Call (916) 382-2412 today to get yourself or your loved one on the road to a successful recovery.